If you are like most people, you have probably thought of desperate measures to learn how to win your ex back. But, if you’re someone who has tried every desperate tactic in the world and failed, you’re probably looking for some effective ways to bring your ex lover back in your arms.
Here are some of my recommendations on how to win your ex back, without losing your self-esteem and without any more frustrations.
Get It Together
No one wants to associate with a loony. If you act messed up, you lose control of your actions and you tend to whine a lot, your ex will not come back to you.
Your first step to win your ex back should be to take some time out and fix your self-esteem. Get your head together. By this I mean no calling your ex in the middle of the night to talk about happy times. This also means never getting drunk and calling your ex to tell him you’re getting drunk because of him or her.
If you really want to learn how to win ex back, you should always think of the image you’re projecting. Do you act cool, confident and in control? If you do, he will probably think the break up did not affect you much, and that you may not have been as in love with him as he thought. This will shift the power to you. For once, you get him wondering why you’re so relaxed and cool when you’re supposed to be heartbroken. And, why is this a good thing? You know that people who get curious can’t sleep without finding out the answer. Chances are, he might want to initiate contact with you again.
Surround Yourself With People
With “people” I don’t mean drinking buddies who are willing to hold your shoulders while you puke because you drank too much. No, not those sorts. And, you shouldn’t be wallowing in self pity either. Instead, work at sorting out your social life. Even if you’re not out to look for love on the rebound, you should spend your time with friends and family members. As we said above, if your ex realizes that you’re completely unaffected, he will get curious. And even if he doesn’t, you will still be having fun and living your life without him. It’s a win-win.
Don’t Jump at the Chance to Get Back Together
If you loved a person from the bottom of your heart for a long time, you might have a lot of unfinished business to take care of. He might come over to drop off your stuff. You might need him to pick up his stuff from your apartment. You will meet again with your ex for one reason or another, so you’d better be prepared mentally and emotionally.
While you want to reconcile with him as soon as possible, the trick to win your ex back is to be approachable but unattainable. Make it clear that you’re keeping the door open for a reconciliation but if it doesn’t come you’re not going to waste time being depressed about it. This kind of standoffish attitude works wonders on someone who wants to never feel pressured to reconcile.
So, when you meet again, it’s ok to express your sadness. Invite him for a platonic tea time (you know what I mean by platonic, right?) and don’t throw yourself at him begging him to come back. Instead, talk about the good old days. Tell him you’re supporting him and it’s up to him if he wants to treat you like a friend or not.
Trust me on this. Acting this way will make a guy feel like he’s losing out because he’s leaving a great girl. You want that impression imprinted in his brain if you are serious about win back your ex.